Suspending damage - Eve Tuck

 After reading the letter by Eve Tuck it made me think about how we see ourselves and how we allow others to see us.   The poor thing presentation does bring support but what are the long term damage of these descriptions.   We have become comfortable with not expecting much of ourselves and blind to the disrespect shown by a lot of research instead of the positive view.    I would love to see more positive worded research and what it established for people with a positive outlook on a demographic.

Stakes think about how I will conduct and word my research.

What have we become immune too as a culture and population that is oppressed?

Damaged Goods ( I do not know this song but the title fits ) 

Let's see the positive and grow that, not see damage and look for a band aid.

What I do that can't be measured, what you do that can't be measured, what we do that can't be measured?

The first chapter of the book: 

"What Do You Do That Can'l Be Measured?  On Radical Care in Teaching and Research" by Victoria Restler left me with these thoughts about myself and others;

                                            We are the World  a song that comes to mind from when I was younger

How can we ever really measure anyone when we all enter,travel, leave, experience,interpret and etc...each life story in different ways.  We all have different ways of viewing something based on who we are what we know how we experience or haven't experienced. There are so many threads in this fabric of human beings.   Who gets to decide what  is the measurement who said it gets to be you. who are you intentionally leaving out or oppressing with your measure.   

I realized how even when you are not looking for it or realizing it systemic racism is so entangled in everything we do and that it can even be in what we undo.  I am exhausted thinking about the thinking and rethinking when you do research but the I wonder if it is natural questions that arise and not such deep dives that make me afraid of research at times.  It helped me think that maybe I do not need to be deep to see and feel and imagine research and data.

It definitely continues to enlighten what I need to do for my Capstone project.  I feel like a better understanding is gained with each reading I complete in the last 2 weeks it makes me better able to design or create my question.

What do I do that can't be measured is all the redirection of myself in my head when I am engaging others. Understanding the harms that are involved, the why's, and how's of being,  Both in positive and negative ways I am always considering and evaluating for response.  I am observant and caring when delivering information.  Considering what you are able to hear or not hear, knowing what still needs to be delivered and finding the way. Engaging other with grace and warmth knowing that feeling safe comes first and feeling cared for should follow with an ending of appreciation for the experience.  Leading with belonging is something i do that cannot be measured.  I care unfortunately even when I should not...I feel even when I know I can not, I understand or try to all the time.  You can not measure how to give healing, belonging you just know they make a difference for the better.

 

you have to feel and listen and vibe and pause and interact and meditate and...........(continue in comments....)

Maxwell Design

 well this is certainly something to print for future use.  This was very helpful in explaining how to get qualitative research ... the start of the section was a light bulb moment.....What do you want to understand......that helped me think about my initial question more....

How to train ydp's to engage youth meanfully?

see this link for  5 tips to engage youth in activities

after reading more what stood out for me was the phrase/paragraph 

The research questions should not be formulated in detail until the goals and conceptual framework (and sometimes general aspects of the sampling and data collection) of the design are clarified and should remain sensitive and adaptable to the implications of other parts of the design. (maxwell)

and also read this

Your research questions identify the things that you want to understand; your interview questions generate the data that you need to understand these things.(maxwell)

So I began to restructure and rethink my question after reading this section to see if I could begin to find my research questions that would give me a good study....

How are ydp's learning to create a place of belonging in after school programs/spaces.

and then I read this                          

Developing relevant, focused, answerable research questions takes time, such questions cannot be thrown together quickly, nor in most studies can they be definitively formulated before data collection and analysis begin.

So now I need to do some research and see if my question shifts or whatever but I feel good about this start point after reading this article it helps me think about how I will collect my answers for this.

I think I was confusing myself by thinking about it too hard, instead of looking at it like what do I want to know.  When I think about what I want to know I am feeling more excited about my question (the one in the purple,lol)